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Keeping Friends
Kaira Leal
When I was a child, I never had trouble in keeping friends. We would just play with each other, laugh and laugh and laugh, just like all other kids. I didn't care much about how to act around then, I was merely having fun to do so. Those wee the days when a candy just cost a few centavos and when the sky always looked so cerulean. The world was perfect for me, and I liked it that way.
But after thinking this thought, reality suddenly shoved its horrible head into the picture... and completely shattered it. I realized that the world wasn't perfect after all. In fact, it wasn't even anywhere close to being perfect. Maybe it was God's will, maybe it was just puberty, but whatever it was, it opened my eyes to the atrocities of human society. A kind of reality check, if you may. And together with that fateful moment of lost innocence and sudden realization, my once taintless mind began to change, along with my attitude towards friendship.
More and more, I became self-conscious around other people. I began to act like someone else, not myself. That's probably the reason why I'm now having difficulty in making, and keeping, friends. Yes I do have a few of them, but sometimes, they just won't last. For example, I made a new friend today through a simple, genial conversation. After we part, my mind would start to fret. What would I say to her the next time we meet? Would she still notice me? Would I still notice her? And as the days go on, our conversations gradually teeter to awkwardness, and then, we just don't understand each other anymore. Finis. The End. Bye-bye, see you again in Honolulu. So as you can see, the fault is all on me and me alone. You may call it self-degrading (in fact it is), but it's true now, isn't it? Gone are the days when friends would just play with each other and laugh. Today, you actually have to strike up a conversation with them! And that my friends, is totally not my specialty.
Thus, my dilemma.
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