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Filial Piety: A Problem of Interpretation
Ari C. Dy, SJ
A fellow Chinese Filipino once told me, "What's so great about Confucius? In this day and age, he wants us to pay blind obedience to our parents!"
Or words to that effect.
I understood my friend, and I knew that he was speaking from painful experience. Many Chinese interpret Confucius' teaching on filial piety as simply paying blind obedience to one's parents. To disobey is to be guilty of filial impiety, and the greatest insult to a Chinese is to say that s/he has no filial piety. From a basic reading of the Confucian Analects, let me show what is clear concerning filial piety and what the areas of ambiguity are. I will also attempt a modern interpretation of filial piety that seeks to make it relevant to contemporary Chinese.
Born more than five centuries before common era, Confucius was a figure whose thought of has come to have a great influence on the development of many Southeast Asian societies. The fundamentals of Confucian thought are simple enough. Confucius says that filial piety and brotherly respect are the "root of humanity (ren)." [ANA 1:2] For Confucius, a person who cultivates proper relationships in the family, especially with parents, will naturally cultivate proper relationships with other people. These relationships keep expanding so that there is order and harmony in society.
Given such a logic, it is important to Confucius that children be brought up properly. They should be taught to be filial at home and respectful to elders when away from home [ANA 1:6]. Filial piety is the basis for an orderly society.
Confucius goes on to prescribe how filial piety should be practiced. Children should "serve them (parents) according to the rules of propriety" [ANA 2:5], and not only care for them, but have a feeling of reverence for them [ANA 2:7]. Confucius emphasizes reverence, saying that support and care are not enough because these are also accorded to dogs and horses.
Without a doubt, then, filial piety is so fundamental to an orderly society that children are expected to continue honoring their parents even when they are dead. Ancestor-veneration is rooted in the basic Confucian tenet of respecting parents and elders.
Filial piety seems like a very positive virtue that is ultimately meant to cultivate right relationships among people. However, many Chinese distance themselves from Confucius and the idea of filial piety because of some negative connotations. Filial piety has come to mean blind obedience to parents. Children resent the fact that even when they are all grown up, they have to obey their parents in such personal matters as the choice of career or spouse. Parents in turn invoke filial piety to get their children to obey them. Parents have such a hold on their children that the relationship has often been described as a form of mitigated slavery. Children are treated well as long as they obey their parents.
Did Confucius want parents to have such power over their children? This is a gray area in the thought of Confucius. Some analects seem to support the idea of blind obedience. There are various translations of Analect 2:6, but it seems closest to the original Chinese to say "Let your feeling ill be the only anxiety of your parents." Outside of illness, children must give their parents no other anxieties. Modern Chinese give their parents a lot of anxiety by desiring to go into non-traditional professions and doing things in a non-traditional way. They are guilty of filial impiety if we are to interpret Analect 2:6 strictly.
Let us now consider the context or setting-in-life of Confucius. He lived in an agricultural society where people shared their parents' professions. People did not have too many choices as far as professions were concerned. Confucius' teaching was quite appropriate then, so much so that Confucius could define the second rank of intellectual as one who is regarded by relatives as filial and by the villagers as fraternal [ANA 13:20]. In closely-knit agrarian societies, there were few ambiguities about filial piety.
The modern world is very different. The Chinese diaspora can be found in every corner of the world. Developments in science and technology have made it possible for a person to specialize in very specific fields. Globalization has made inter-racial marriage a common phenomenon. How are modern Chinese supposed to remain filial when they are living in a world that is very different from that of their parents, when they often make decisions that their parents cannot or will not understand? Must Confucius and filial piety be shelved in order to survive in the modern world?
The solution need not be that drastic. There are Chinese who have completely turned their backs on Confucius and filial piety, but this is not the only possible response. It would be tragic to do so because to write off Confucius is tantamount to writing off Chinese culture. How sad if Chinese lose their Chineseness due to an inability to reconcile their modern selves with their ancient heritage.
The key to the dilemma is Analect 4:18. A child may gently remonstrate with his/her parents, and if they are not inclined to listen, s/he should retain his/her attitude of reverence and continue to serve them. Adherents of the blind obedience school of thought will see in this analect another affirmation that parents should have the final word, but that is not what the analect says. The analect only says that the child must continue revering his/her parents even when they disagree on something. The child must continue serving and taking care of his/her parents, without necessarily obeying them in all matters, especially those that concern the child's personal life. This interpretation of Confucius is a way for modern Chinese, both parents and children, to integrate ancient Chinese values with modernity.
Parents need to learn that they do not own their children, and that filial piety does not mean controlling their children's lives. The children, in turn, may have very different values and may do a lot of things (e.g., marry a non-Chinese) that their parents do not understand, but they must never lose the respect and reverence that is due to their parents. Parents and children may agree to disagree because there are greater ties that bind them.
Let me end on a personal note. I have had to resolve the issue of filial piety for myself. When I decided to enter the religious life , my parents initially opposed my decision. I got meaningful stares from my relatives. They were too polite to say it, but their eyes told me that I was being unfilial and ungrateful to my parents for defying their wishes.
After much thought, I could not, for the life of me, think of myself as being unfilial.
I loved my parents and would have done anything for them, but I could not let them dictate my life's direction. I followed my heart's desire, but I have always retained my reverence, respect, and love for my parents.
Now, eight years later, I am on good terms with my parents. Recently we even spent a week together in China. There was a point during that trip when I felt that we were dealing with each other as adults because we could respect our differences.
There are greater ties that bind us.
About the Author:
Ari C. Dy, SJ is from the Loyola House of Studies at the Ateneo de Manila University. He has just published his first book, Weaving A Dream: Reflections for Chinese-Filipino Catholics Today.
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