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Remembering Gua-Ma
Marilyn Uy
June 18, 1999, I was shattered by two untimely and unexpected incidents—one was when, on my way home, I accidentally tripped over a side hump along Katipunan road (w/c was why a cast had to be placed on my right leg); and the other was the demise of my grandmother whom I respectfully call “gua-ma”. Both have caused me so much pain—physically and emotionally. The pain may have been aggravated by the fact that these two incidents have never even occurred in my wildest imaginations and dreams—as I’ve told my twin sister and my friends, I have never even tried to picture myself wearing a cast, nor have I ever really thought of Gua-ma passing away just like that. Quoting from the Bible, both of them came “like thieves in the night”. But they happened… they have really happened in front of my very own eyes. I witnessed my own “fall” (of course!), and how I, failing to get sympathy and help from any passerby, miraculously managed to drag my injured foot, reached the tricycle terminal and went back to the Ateneo campus in one piece. I was there that morning when my dear Gua-ma was rushed to the ER; I saw how her weak and fragile body was carried from her room to Uncle Ramon’s car. In both incidents, I felt so helpless. I wished I was just dreaming.
There are always two sides of a coin, or rather, a “fair” coin, if I may be allowed to add to this cliché. More often than not, I see only one side, and worse, that side has often been the negative side. I can easily classify the two aforementioned incidents as “unhappy”, and place them inside a big black box with a label—“bad experiences”. It was good that God saved my sanity by not allowing these two incidents to happen in a single day (I could just imagine!). However, awful and terrible as they may seem, these experiences have brought so much realizations in me. At this point in time, I became greatly convinced that even in the most painful and unbearable moments, God’s grace can be found.
Four days before Gua-ma passed away, Mommy had to bring me to St. Luke’s hospital because of my injured leg. When Gua-ma learned about what had happened to me, she immediately offered her stainless steel “cane” and even her wheelchair, just so as I could manage to move around. She even told Mommy to get money from her wallet for my treatment. How can a person suffering from a terminal case of cancer suddenly forget her own agony, and worry about the condition of her careless granddaughter? Only a loving grandmother can do that. Only a selfless and caring Gua-ma can show such touching expression of concern in spite of her own unstable predicament.
Such, indeed, is the personality of Gua-ma—loving, caring, very sympathetic, and unselfish. I could just recall the statement I’ve lifted from an inspirational book written by the great Norman Vincent Peale. The statement goes, “Forget self, think of others—this is the formula to true happiness.” In her lifetime, Gua-ma exemplified such “formula”. She may not be the type who would affirm her love through words like “I love you”, but definitely, she did not fail to reach and touch the lives of many because of her simple, loving gestures. I have always believed that we Chinese-Filipinos are not expressive type, and Gua-ma was not an exception. She never explicitly told me how much she loved me, but her actions revealed so much love and joy in her. I could hardly forget the times when she would offer to help me with my school projects—needlework has always been my waterloo. Or the times when she would offer me merienda and other sweets during the afternoons when I was at home. Or the times when she made sleeveless blouses, shorts and skirts for us using the remaining yards of cloth brought by Aunt Chit. Or even the times when she would tell me, “Marilyn, gun hiya u tsay teng. Tsuey di khi t’ue o.” (Marilyn, we have soup. You can get as much as you want.) before dinner, knowing that my favorite was soup, of any kind! And how about the times when she used to cut our hair when we were still small? See how versatile Gua-ma is! She can be a cook, a dressmaker, a hairdresser, a gardener (she loves flowers), and even a doctor. But above all these, there is no denying that she has been a great Gua-ma to me and to all her grandchildren. Even during the last few days of her agony, she managed to let me feel her grandmotherly love through that touching expression of concern.
Gua-ma may have already passed away, but memories of her will continue to live and burn in my heart. In the person of Gua-ma, I came to realize how God loves me so much. Right now, I believe that she is happily reunited with the Lord, and I am also certain that God is very satisfied with how Gua-ma had lived her life with us here. I could only hope and pray that I could emulate the unselfish love and care she has exemplified through her simple and thoughtful ways. She has done her part, for her mission on earth has been accomplished, while I am still in the process of discovering and living up my own. With God’s grace, I fervently hope that I could epitomize the virtues and values that Gua-ma had demonstrated while she was with us.
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